I have had to rest for the last week for two reasons:
1. I am sick, so physically exhausted (they think I have another intestinal parasite)
2. I am stressed (culture shock, language, work etc...)
I am very much a doer, and feel guilty when not 'doing'. So a week of just trying to 'be' is very difficult. But looking back on my week, I have still done lots of things and maybe more so than resting.
Why is it so difficult to just stop and be?
Every time I think about this, as I think about it a lot -- I come back to God and how He rested after He created the world, and I am pretty sure it was not because He was tired or stressed or sick...but to be an example to us! It is not good to be a 'doer' all the time.
But why is this one of the hardest commandments to follow, we all think not murdering, or sleeping with someone else's wife, not stealing etc...are all important and don't do them.
But why then do we not have as much respect or intention to try to keep/follow the 4th commandment - Keep the Sabbath day holy: day of rest dedicated to the Lord.
I know that I am not good at this... Just resting, stoping and doing something I enjoy, staying in bed that little longer, ignoring that my room is messy for a day, not finding something to do so I can continue to do...and not be.
Are we scared to Be?
Maybe - maybe we don't like our own company? Maybe we think something will go wrong if we stop doing? Maybe we think people's opinions will change about us if we say no to working? Maybe we are scared of where our thoughts will take us if we stop and think/reflect for a little bit? Maybe if we stop we have no purpose in our day in who we are? Maybe? Just maybe?
Well I am going to try and 'be'....
I have no clue what the day will look like, or how I will feel, but I am going to rest in the arms of my Heavenly Father. I am going to allow Him to recharge me, to talk to me. I am going to relax and watch a movie and not feel bad that I could be doing something else, or working. I am going to be...
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