A week of emotions...

I feel this entry is going to be more like a diary entry, with some emotion put into it...that just my usual update of my life here...

This week has been good and productive....as we are 'shut' for the summer holidays there is a lot of maintenance and cleaning to be done around the centre, so a random week of cleaning shelves in the kitchen, scrapping moss off the floor, cleaning floors, and sorting out colouring pens and pencils! In the afternoons I have been doing portuguese.

I only had a 4 day working week, as I returned from my long week away with friends on the Monday. The weekend was bittersweet in some ways as I look back, knowing that the last member (my closest friend Rachel) was leaving on the Tuesday...so it was our last bit of fun and adventure together, with Isaac too, but he is staying and working at the Lighthouse. But Rachel is planning to come back in March - if she gets her year visa.

It is interesting looking at all the different paths all the different students have taken - We all arrived and did the same school: children at risk....but all leaving with different things learnt, different memories, different directions in life....some of us stayed here and started our practical year straight away, 1 is going to Africa, 1 is going to staff a children at risk focused DTS (discipleship training school), in the north of Brazil...some came just to do the school, and return home....

I have found it hard this week, a little lonely, maybe because I am still finding my feet and building friendships and relationships, which in some cases is difficult with the language barrier.  Maybe because it is a week away from Christmas and I am not with my family for the first time, or that it doesn't feel like Christmas at all, as I am not freezing but the total opposite!  Maybe it is the little bit of worry in me about what I will be doing next year...what type of children should I be working with, how, when, what. Or is maybe that I feel I am not good enough to do this .... that I cannot speak Portuguese and a year seems a really long time sometimes ....  I have to say this week it is a combination of all I think, but I always go back to the truth, that this is where I know I am meant to be, and God has called me, so He will equip me for the job He wants me to do, I have to stand firm on the truth and promises of God, but sometimes I find it hard, but it is ultimately the best place for me to be.

But I still love it here, I love the life I lead, I love the daily challenge (even if I do moan about the language)...I love how this was a dream of mine and I am now living it out...I am happy, I know I am, just occasionally I get overwhelmed but I know thats ok, and I know deep down I am happy here and that everything will be all ok, and that I can do this :0)