I can NOT do this - I can do this...?!

I need to be honest: Being on the mission field, especially in a country that I cannot speak the language well (and I love talking to people) is really hard. It is lonely too sometimes. I have hit real low points and going through culture shock is hard. I have even looked up flights to come home...I have many doubts recently about why I am here when I feel useless and cannot do anything - what is my purpose here in Brazil - Why has God called me here - can I really be a missionary in Brazil?! 


The above is not the focus of this post - it is just to put you in the picture of that for ME it is difficult sometimes and I am fully aware everyone has difficulties and life is never easy for everyone. But the focus is how God is getting me through all of this...


I am reading a book at the moment called: 'Keeping a Princess Heart - In a not-so-fairy-tale world' [by: Nicole Johnson]. I have not read it in a while and I feel felt God prompt me to read it and this is what I read: 

'...courageous doesn't mean that you are not afraid; it means that fear doesn't win by changing your course. Courage is staying the course in the face of danger. It is sticking with your intended plan of action in the midst of difficulty or uncertainty, without being overcome by fear. It is holding tight to your convictions when you have doubts...But the difficulty of it [living in the invisible kingdom] does not make us give up; it inspires us to overcome because our suffering is not wasted. It counts for something. What we are going through is strengthening us in a way that helps us. The King [God] will continue to supply us with the courage and grace not only to survive, but to grow stronger...and to develop our Princess heart'

I am a Princess in God's eyes - who can survive through all things!!

I then found this Bible verse:

"...Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know nothing that you do for the Lord is ever useless" 1 Corinthians 15:58

So what I am doing, even if it is not a lot and having to rely a lot on other people to communicate - I am not useless....and by doubting myself, I am doubting God and what He can do through me. I a here for a purpose to serve God and help children and young people know who they are in Christ, and to help them reach their full potential in life.....

SO I am staying and I will keep battling on, I am not alone on this journey my Heavenly Father is standing right next to me, helping me stay strong and reminding me constantly who I am in Him - that I can do all things with Him, even if it seems impossible to me...so I need to be courageous and be bold and continue to run this race and face challenges head on and praise God continually....