My life there - the people I worked and lived with, the girls from my group, the beautiful slum around me, the language, the different culture from what I had known...everything
It brings something up in me, that I feel is so deep inside, trapped, just wanting to flood out of me.
But what will happen when it does come out?!
Just this 'thing' makes me feel tired and want to hide in my bed were it is safe.
It makes me nervous about all the things - emotions, thoughts, experiences; I have just not processed about Brazil. I feel I have ignored it, I have had so many other things to focus on about being home, meeting my niece, thanking people, seeing friends and family, going back to church....
It was easier not to process it all, as I just don't really know how....so many thoughts in my head that I don't quite know what to do with them. But I think it is getting to the point were the flood gates will break - I will break, so I can process, re-mend and be able to move on to the next thing.
I am scared, as I feel a real deep hurt in a way lodged in me, slowly coming to the surface. I will stand firm, and will process with my God - who will give me the strength to look back over the last 11 months but also help me look forward to what He wants me to do now.
But first I guess I need to trust Him and let the 'flood gates' open...
Reverse culture shock can be hard, I felt similar after first trip to Romania. Are there people around you who can understand?
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