Six months ago I was on a plane flying back from Brazil.
I remember being so numb in some ways that day - not really registering that I was leaving Brazil, that I would not wake up at the Lighthouse the following morning, or see the people I have been living with. I didn't really sink in that I would be seeing my family in X number of hours, and meeting my niece for the first time. It was so real, yet I don't think I took much in, I feel I was on auto-pilot in some ways.
I do remembering reading the Gospel of Matthew on my flights, and getting excited by the life of Jesus and knowing that I was in His hands and He knew the plans for my life, even when I had no clue...
Six months ago my life changed a lot...
I write this post with sadness, that I have loved and then lost that love, something that once was is no longer...
I write this post with wounds in my heart, but knowing that they are healing. I look back with sadness (and tons of other emotions!) but not focused on the 'what ifs' or 'should haves'.
I thank God for my time in Brazil, and will continue to walk out losing in a way part of my life, I need to 'lay to rest' Brazil...and I guess with anything/anyone that you love and loose there will be times when it hurts, when you cry, when you miss things, when you occasional dwell on the past and wonder what it would be like now if you never lost....Isn't that part of the grieving process?!
But I don't want to just focus on what happened six months ago.
I want to Thank God for what has happen in the past six months...
Thank you for my family and meeting and getting to know my niece Bella
Thank you for my Church and my extended family
Thank you for my time in Brazil and the experiences I had
Thank you that I have been able to share with others about the work you are doing in peoples lives there
Thank you for teaching me more of who you are
Thank you for this period of rest and recovery
Thank you for my improved health
Thank you for your abundant provision
Thank you that you love me regardless where I am in the world or what I am doing
Thank you for my friends and meeting up with people
Thank you in advance for the next six months....who knows where You will lead me...